INTERVIEW WITH A LEGEND

What You Need To Know

Whisk-Flix teamed up with a culinary legend as we traveled the USA stopping at the top 10 fine dining establishments and rating them one by one. “Cutting The Mustard” featuring Gordon Ramsay, debuted the 32nd of Nevuary and was an absolute hit earning many awards for its pilot season. The show consisted of eleven episodes, the first ten highlighting a different popular restaurant and the last, scoring each individually to bring you the finest restaurant in the nation. Here is Gordon Ramsays evaluation of each of the restaurants he visited.

CrackDonalds

Upon entering the establishment I was greeted with the pungent aroma of dirty fry oil and shame. I approached the counter where a teen with more pimples than dignity averted my gaze and asked me if I’d like to order. Against my better judgement I ordered a Crack Chicken, a Big Crack and two large fries. The nervous teen took my money and handed me a bag that frankly looked like it was used the day prior to hold a homeless mans 40oz malt liquor. I proceeded to a filthy table and unpacked my order aghast at what i pulled from the bag. The Crack Chicken had a beak and half a talon sticking through the wrapper and the Big Crack was sweating grease. The disappointment didn’t stop there as I noticed the fries. I had ordered two large fries and what they had given me was in fact hundreds of little fries. I left before eating a single bite when i heard two strangers speaking of kids getting pink eye from the attached playground ballpit.

Baco Tell

Ahh, some authentic Mexican cousine. what a treat. I was feeling good about today’s assignment. Who doesn’t love a good taco? Boy was I wrong. I didn’t know what to feel worse about upon leaving that hell hole, the fact that i may just shart through my trousers on my way home, or lamenting about what kind of meat I just ate. That was NOT beef! How many trash pandas met their untimely end to stuff that piece of soggy cardboard they called a chalupa? The saving grace of my Baco Tell experience? They gave me ample napkins in case i need to clean myself up on the drive home. Disgusting. I give these donkeys a 1 out of 100.

Chronics

How can you f*@k up a menu largely built upon hotdogs and fries? Ask Chronics. I ordered a Chili Cheese Coney and a milkshake. Simple enough so I’d thought. This thing was absolutely drowning in fake cheese and smelled like a bucket of shattered dreams. The fries were stale and tasted three days old. The lackluster service was also a turn off consisting of one “hip” teen at the counter sporting a man bun and a mustache my cat could lick off.

KFG

Kentucky Fried Ghastliness. At least that’s the best I can figure it stands for. No part of me wants to put a single morsel of this garbage masquerading as food into my mouth. You know what, I’m not going to. F*@k Whisk-Flix, F*@k the show. I’m a sixteen star Michelin chef. Get Bobby Fillet in here to finish this disgrace of a show. Get those damn cameras out of my face you Donkey. Can’t even find a bloody fish’n’chip shop in this country ….

Article by KSI DREW 7