Opinion: Rocket League Hoops is Bad

Hello! You read the title. I stand by it. Rocket League? It’s great. I’m addicted. Rocket League Hoops though? BLASPHEMY.

For the last month or so, rumors of Rocket League Hoops has been circulating, and last week, the update finally dropped.

I was excited. I saw a few screenshots of the court and it looked amazing.

Then I played it and I felt like Michael Scott from “The Office” when he realized Toby was back in the office.

“NO GOD. NO GOD PLEASE NO. NO. NO. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.”

The court is too small. The force field under the basket makes no sense. The ball doesn’t lift easy enough. The ball can roll up the front of the force field to score. Players can camp around under the basket and goal tend to prevent a goal.

This laundry list of complaints is all of my own belief, and you might not agree, which is fine. But for me, each one makes the variant maddeningly disappointing.

First off, the game is just 2 v. 2. To accommodate the doubles teams, the court feels annoyingly small. Now sure, a basketball court is much smaller than a soccer field, but the way the game plays needs a larger playing area.

The baskets sit barely above the playing surface. If a car jumps straight up, it will reach the rim. However, beneath the rim is a force field that allows vehicles through, but blocks the ball. What it does is create a clunky, disrupted game type.

A large reason the height of the rim and the force field causes such issues is the ball doesn’t lift easily. The ball feels like it’s heavier and harder to life than the soccer equivalent.

In order to score well, players have to be able to boost-jump, which is hard to do because of the small size of the court. Usually what happens is the ball gets molested in one of the corners of the court while the players weakly hit the ball between the rim, force field and wall.

Players can occasionally roll the ball along the ground to the front of the hoop and roll it up to score, which feels cheap, as well.

It also feels cheap that players can knock baskets back up through the rim and prevent scoring due to the height of the rim. It’s unfortunate that the height of the rim is so awkward. It can’t be too low to not create a challenge, but it can’t be too high or players will really struggle to score.

I feel as if the developers missed a chance to incorporate elements from the “Mutator Mash-Up” playlist within this game type.

If the court were as long the soccer field, or close there to, and the ball was larger and the gravity was lower, the game type would feel much smoother and better.

The ball would lift better and provide a better basketball experience.

I also think that making the rim a little smaller and putting it a little higher so as to not allow goaltending would also make it feel more like basketball,

In general, Rocket League is a simplistic, but great, game. Hockey was a great addition, but Hoops just doesn’t feel right. After trying to get used to the gametype for a couple days, I’ve given up on the variant and decided to stick with standard 3 v. 3 soccer.

Do you like Hoops? Do you hate it like I do? What would you change? Let us know.