Valentine’s Day Weekend Warfare!

This Saturday is Valentine’s Day. But who needs a Valentine’s date and a trip to a restaurant you probably can’t even pronounce of afford?

Not us. You know what we want? No, do you know what we NEED?

We need a Weekend Warfare Karaoke event on the Xbox 360 with a heart/heartless theme.

Let’s address some common issues and questions from the peanut gallery, aka Impy’s subconscious and probably your mind by extension.

WHY DO WE NEED THIS?!

Well excellent question, sir and/or madame. We need this because it’s going to be a great time among friends. Weekend Warfare is always a hoot and sing-offs like what is planned always are fun to attend and compete in.

BUT I CAN’T SING!

Fret not. Many people can’t, but that doesn’t deter them. If you truly can’t sing, just talk rhythmically and attempt to pass it off as some form of art. Just tell people it’s your interpretation of the song.

WAIT, WHAT DO YOU MEAN A HEART/HEARTLESS THEME?!

I mean you sing love songs or songs about crippling loneliness. If you make us cry you might get bonus points, but only if we’re not crying because of our bleeding ears.

So, what other possible questions or issues could there be?

NOT MUCH, BUT I HAVE A DATE!

Well date them harder earlier and get home in time to sing. Or better yet, the sing-off event could be the whole date. Open a few beers, order a pizza, and sing your hearts out of your mouth holes.

WOW, THAT’S VIOLENT. WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH ABOUT THIS? DO YOU HAVE A VALENTINE’S DAY DATE?

I do not. Watch your mouth. Words can hurt. Don’t strip my enthusiasm. Any other comments?

WILL THERE BE PUNCH AND PIE?

It’s an online event so I’m not sure why you’d think we could organize a punch and pie party.

MORE PEOPLE WILL COME IF YOU SAY THERE WILL BE PUNCH AND PIE.

Did you just quote South Park?

YEP.

I like you.

I THINK YOU’RE DUMB.

Well, OK then. You’re dumb if you don’t come to karaoke.

I’M NOT DUMB, DUMMY. I’LL BE THERE. WHERE DO I SIGN UP?!

Sign ups can be found here.

WOW YOU’RE SO HELPFUL. WANT TO BE MY DATE?

I’m sorry, I’m taken.

BUT YOU SAID YOU DIDN’T HAVE A DATE.

I’m married to the game, playa. Get on my level. Viva la resistance. Get ready to sing.

BUT-

Butts are for pooping, silly. You’re singing.

OK.

Ok. There may be punch and pie.

AMAZEBALLS!

Totes. See you all this weekend. <3